Ben Esra telefonda seni bosaltmami ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32
“If this is what you want,” she said, her tone even and controlled. I could tell she was disappointed. Perhaps she’d dreamed of a relationship or she’d fantasized of an emotional connection with me.
She’d never hinted or remotely seemed interested. I thought she was happy with being friends. My few fumbling attempts to offer something more were rebuffed politely but firmly. We enjoyed our time together, though, and always returned to meeting for lunch or shopping or speaking on the phone for long personal conversations kept carefully affectionate without being too intimate.
I’d confessed to her that I enjoy dressing as a woman. I asked if she would be interested in helping me pursue that perfection. I’d dreamed of a female assisting me, encouraging me, adding her personal expertise to my own research and explorations. I’d dressed, gone out in public in my car but never gotten the courage to step out of the vehicle.
“Could you, would you,” I asked, my voice hoarse with emotion, “Help me?”
Of course that request lead to a lot of questions. “The Talk.” One has this with significant others when discovered or when confessing or when seeking to move things to another level.
I’ve never been with another man. I’ve never thought I was gay. I’d spent hours observing women as women. I was fascinated with feminine trappings and mannerisms. I owned a wide assortment of items from dresses to intimates to accessories to over a hundred cosmetics required to prepare, maintain, and repair one’s body in a feminine manner.
My ex-wife didn’t want to play. She accommodated my hobby passively. No, that wasn’t why we separated and divorced. She’d returned to an old love and though we parted amicably we didn’t remain friends or stay in touch.
I’d had helpers, found the salons willing to deal with a male client, the stores and which sales personnel were willing to help. I’d been waxed, plucked, massaged, treated, and made over, but always by those motivated by their desire to make a living.
I wanted someone to help that cared. So, I asked her. Watched her face fall, her eyes on the floor.
“You seem disappointed,” I said.
She frowned, smiled that sad smile again. She seemed to be considering, evaluating, thinking.
“Can I get you another glass of wine?” I asked. When I brought it and handed it to her, her face had changed. She seemed almost angry. She took the wine and put it on the table. She took my glass and put it down as well.
“Kiss me,” she said.
I stared. She appeared serious. We’d kissed, lightly and sweetly as friends. Once, more passionately, our lips pressed firmly together. She rejected the advance of my tongue, Kartal Olgun Escort smiled at me, shook her head. ‘Not us,’ she’d said. But she’d held my hand for a time before we got up and our hands fell apart.
We kissed and this time I felt for the first time the passion inside her. She gave herself fully and wholeheartedly. I knew her as a woman for the first time, the way a man knows a woman. She was offering herself to me. We kissed and kissed and kissed. I felt myself respond, reached for her in a suggestive way.
She pulled away and held her hand up. “Stop,” she said, and looked at me, her eyes flashing.
She stood and pulled her blouse up over her head. She loosed the clasps on her bra, pulled it away from her breasts. They were full and pink and warm and her nipples were dark and plump with arousal from our kissing. She smiled, unzipped her skirt, dropped it to the floor. She pulled her half-slip down over her hips and let it fall. Her panties she pulled down and dropped to her ankles where she stepped out of everything, bent over and picked them up and put them on the table. She was still wearing her heels and she posed for me, almost smirking in response to the delight I was feeling at the display.
“This is what your’e giving up. I couldn’t help you become female and take you seriously as a man. That may not be a popular view but I believe I owe you my honest thoughts and feelings.”
She sat on the table and spread her legs. “My poor pussy. I’d welcome your thorough and enthusiastic use of all of me. But thinking of helping you do your nails, styling your hair, picking out earrings together, I’m not sure I’d – – -“
“I’m not sure I understand, I mean, I know what you’re speaking of but why now? I’d never gotten the impression that you welcomed my advances, my offers. I, uh – – -“
“I knew something wasn’t quite right. You were much too happy with just being friends. I didn’t want to start a romance until I was sure I knew you.” she glanced away, then back at me, “But now I know. You want to be a girl. That’s fine, no problem, sure, I’ll help but I need you to tell me you appreciate what we won’t be.”
Her gaze was earnest, believeable, true. She twirled her right earring with her fingers, something she did when she was nervous or distracted.
“Could we be lovers with me as her?” I asked, “Not the object of my entreaty but I wonder, would you – – -“
“I don’t know her, not yet,” she said, “No promises until we meet. Is she you, female, or is she someone else? I don’t even know her name.” She brightened, however, her curiosity piqued. She gave me a smile, waiting.
Oh, I thought. “Allie,” I said, Kartal Sarışın Escort “Short for Allison.”
She stared at me, her brain a whirl behind those lovely green eyes. A complex expression made of who knows what took over her features.
“Allison,” she said, finally. “Tell me one thing about her.”
“Allie won’t wear jeans unless you do. She’ll wear them, she has a couple of pair, even some skinny jeans, but she prefers dresses and skirts if she has the choice. Of course she’d dress compatibly with you if the two of you were…”
“Going shopping together?” she said.
“Sure! Don’t girls talk about clothes before they appear together publicly?”
“Yes, we do. That’s interesting that you appreciate it. I have to elaborate on my earlier comment.”
“Okay?” I wasn’t sure what she might say.
“While we’re doing all this stuff, me fixing your hair, or teasing you about your screwy makeup, or why that top doesn’t work with that bottom,” she giggled, “We’d be talking about girl stuff, in other words, men.”
“Oh,” I said.
“I just couldn’t pick out a scarf with you and then go home and have you make love to me as a man. It would be too confusing. Maybe someone else could do that but I would have a nervous breakdown. If you’re going to be Allie, I’d have to be friends with Allie. If I thought you knew everything I told her, I’d be very embarrassed in the least. I don’t think you’d like it, either.”
“Give me an example?” This conversation had developed unexpected twists.
“Okay, me and Allie are having lunch at the mall. This gorgeous security guard with huge biceps walks by. I whisper, ‘Allie, look at that butt. My God!’ and she giggles and nods, ‘Yes!’ Then we go home, you take off your wig and your makeup and put on some jeans and a t-shirt and while you’re changing (she air-quoted ‘changing’ for emphasis), you look at your butt and wonder how it compares. I mean, it’s nice but …”
We both laughed. I nodded. Yes, that would be confusing and I understood she might be distressed. I really spent more time thinking about Allie’s bottom than mine but the scenario she shared was realistic.
She continued, “Especially if in the middle of you changing, I wanted you to hop on this (she was still naked and her gesture emphasized her body) when I grabbed your ass to encourage you to pound me mercilessly into the mattress you’d just start thinking about that security guard.”
She made to continue but I stopped her.
“I want to fuck you.”
She stared, her eyes a mix of confusion, almost on the verge of tears. “No,” she said.
“I want to make love to you, to have you as my Kartal Şişman Escort girlfriend, as my fiance’, as my wife, as the mother of my children. We can just forget the crossdressing. It’s not important, not compared to my need for you.”
She burst into tears. She sobbed uncontrollably. I made to hold her, to comfort her, and she pushed me away. Twice. The third time she collapsed in my arms.
“You’re just saying that because I naked.”
“You are beautiful but I knew that before. I’m speaking from my heart. I’ve needed to share this with you. I’m afraid my earlier request was just me doing anything other than telling you how I felt. I don’t want to lose you. I want you. Forever.”
Sobbing, she said, “You haven’t won me yet.”
“I know,” I told her.
In a few minutes she composed and let me kiss her cheek. Her tears tasted sweet and salty. She backed out of our embrace and patted my cheek softly.
“I’m going to slap you, later. Not now. Not naked. It wouldn’t be dignified. But you deserve a slap.”
“Does that mean – – -” I understood about the slap so I didn’t inquire.
“You have to ask me out, first. And I still might say ‘No'”
“What if I ask twice?”
“Maybe yes the second time. But, maybe not.”
“I’ll keep asking until you say ‘yes’. For a single date. Maybe dinner and a movie? Something traditional. I…”
She interrupted. “You cannot kiss me again until our third date.”
“Okay. But I’ll look forward to it.”
She said my name, with a question mark.
“Yes?”
“Promise you’ll wear boy’s underwear on our dates.”
“I promise.” I laughed, she didn’t. She was serious. “Promise me once we’re getting along normally, you’ll introduce me to Allie.”
“You mean you don’t want her to just go away?”
“I already researched it. As a hobby, crossdressing does not go away. You haven’t answered my question.”
“I promise I’ll introduce you to Allie. I think you’ll like her and I know she’ll like you.”
“Not a date but let’s go shopping, you and me, after I put my clothes back on. You have to leave the room while I’m dressing, though.”
“Okay, I’ll take you shopping. What do you want to pick up?”
“I’m going to buy Allie a blouse. As a ‘thank you’ gift.”
“Thank you for what?”
She kissed me and it was the last naked kiss I got for some time.
“Thank you to Allie for making you, you. You are the nicest male friend I’ve ever had. You’re not a very good girlfriend but that’s not your job. Maybe Allie will do better.”
“How am I not a nice girlfriend?”
“You’re supposed to fix me up with cute guys. Introduce me. You never do that.”
“I don’t want to fix you up with anyone but me.”
“See. Not a nice girlfriend. Allie won’t, either, I know.”
“How do you know that?”
“She knows the guy I’m dating.” That little smile, a twinkle in her eye.
I reached for her but she was gone into the bathroom.